tick-tock.

i don't recall a more enticing time to hit the road. a few weeks ago this area was dubbed the coldest place in north america. 3 degrees colder than our northern neighbors in nunavut. we were sitting at negative 46 with the windchill in the middle of november. and here i delusively thought that by leaving in january i'd boycott all the madness..

that being said, i've been busy with preparations. all of my immunizations are now in order and i purchased a new pair of hiking boots. apparently i need to get a passport reissue because i ran out of pages (unbeknowst to me until a few days ago..) which was quite nerve-racking considering it doesn't expire for two more years and was certainly not on my radar until i indifferently picked it up and gave it a look through the other day.. i have a pocket-sized spanish phrase book on it's way and i've been brain-storming which other books will make the cut.

now, i wait/hibernate.

nightmare/reality.

the other night i got into bed with my ipod and figured i'd give some new tunes a listen before i went to sleep. i fell into a deep slumber and woke rather haphazardly, i can only assume from some shift in music that was still playing, seemingly much louder at this point.. the first thing that i noticed as i took off my headphones was that danelle wasn't sleeping beside me, and that was weird. where could she be? then i realised i had been sprawling across the bed and was instantly consumed with guilt because i figured she must have gone to sleep with cami since i was selfishly hogging the entire bed. then i realised something strange was amiss.. i sat up to ponder what it could possibly be.. suddenly, panic rocked my entire being as my eyes focused through the dim light coming through the slanted blinds: this-was-not-danelle's-room-at-all. i knew the bed felt different. whose room was this and how the hell did i get here? i was seized with fear until it hit me. this was my room. my bed. i'm back in regina. and danelle was likely fast asleep in her own bed, all the way across the country. complete nightmare.

____________________

the coast never ceases to deliver. three weeks of absolute delight. got out to victoria for the first time ever and caught up with some amazing friends that i miss dearly. matt g was a complete gem; he came and picked danelle and i up from the ferry and gave us a brief tour before cooking us a gourmet lunch. britt came in from school a short while later and we walked down to the water to dip our feet and [attempt] to skip some stones. that evening we went to a lecture led by maggie benston, one of the founders of the vancouver women's caucus, a group of independent feminists who, in 1970, drove across canada to ottawa to rally for section 251. [also known as the "abortion caravan"]. she was an amazing speaker with phenomenal, powerful stories. some laughs, but heavy subject content. we all left feeling very liberated, i almost burnt my bra.

met up that evening with avery and scott kelly, two very dear friends who made the move west. along with matt, britt, and a few of danelle's friends, we joined forces at this pub called "big bad john's". random paraphernalia hanging all over the walls and roof.. harmless booby traps.. peanut shells strewn across the wooden floor.. servers wearing jean cover-alls. classy place. we had a fantastic time. it was here i was dubbed the 'symbol of love and prosperity' by a strange stranger feeling the need to advise.. [but that is a story for another time]..

walked around fan tan alley, did some shopping, and then out that night to da clubbb. the loud heavy bass beats that pump your heart for you. we didn't fit the scene, but we certainly hit the dance floor. met up the next day with justin and ashley, avery and scott, and will bratt to go hike goldstream. everything out there is still very green, with vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows starting to turn the leaves.. we hiked up to this wooden train bridge and popped a bottle of champagne in celebration of ashley's birth. there were no railings and it seemed a good hundred feet to the tree tops below.. i felt very stand-by-me-esque walking on those ties. perfect scenery, solid crew, loved every minute of it. ave and scott had a house party that evening after we dined at this lovely little tapas bar called "stage". the next day we checked out a castle, and said our goodbyes. ferried back to vancouver that afternoon.

the next two weeks are much more difficult/impossible to explain in such depth. it was a blur of epicness and laughter. saw a lot of toby and syd which was wonderful.. great talks and visits with the darling kate.. got branded with the 3308 by gordie, who also came out with us quite a bit which is guaranteed mad fun.. ate fabulous baguettes and vegan delights and slices and sushi and breakfasts.. was introduced to perch, and more importantly, laura, who i have a feeling will be a very dear friend for years to come.. reunited with most of the new west crew.. cami, maytal, julia, molly, danielle.. lots of shopping.. lots of caffeine, thanks to all the people i know working at cafes.. including the charming levi, of whom we spent a lot of time with.. met up with the bros and meghan to see sufjan stevens play at this beautiful theatre venue.. hung with davey o, met his darling robyn.. saw tim kasher play at the media club.. celebrated the big 2-4 maturely dressed as a "pair of pears" with my side-kick danelle.. [we made the costumes ourselves].. i came home absolutely floating..

..and have since crashed to the reality of snow, work, and detox.

west coast best coast!

me siento excelente.

okay. time to include the internet in the life of le petit chou once again. things have been fab, as you can probably understand with the lack of internetage. but you know what? it's starting to get cold outside. so you may be reading more of me in the months to come. (and of course whenever i'm off adventuring and being interesting, it would be rude to not keep you informed. so you'll see me then, as well). no worries.

okay. what's new since i last posted.. the gang and i hit the dusty trail and headed north to waskesiu for five days. we saw tons of wildlife, swam the most beautiful lake, and sat sipping boxed red around a crackling fire.. i went to brandon for the darling jill's wedding, tore up the town with my big sis and cuz, spent a few days with heather and haylie at the cabin - one of my favorite summer rituals.. went to winnipeg with the fam to celebrate rob and roxanne's big day, tore up the dance floor, got a visit in with dad and nana, hit up osbourne village with some sweet pals i miss very much.. got a cold/flu for a few days which was quite a lot of fun.. back to the farm with ave, meghan, and darryl; chilled with the selby crew celebrating colonel reta's big 9-0.. (a heated pictionary game put me in the bad books with some of the uncles; it wasn't my fault.. a) they were cheating b) i can't lose c) it's laura's fault).. this last week was crammed with going-away-parties, birthday parties, dance parties, shows (parties?), my last wedding of the season, and hanging with my leading lady, kate.. tonight i went out for dinner with my good pal thue. we dined, and indoor mini-golfed the night away.. oh, and last night i officially bought a one-way ticket to buenos aires - january 12th, (chico!).. spanish lessons are in progress.

there may have been one or two days of work wedged in between all of that, but basically that's moi in a nutshell.

oh, and the answer to the multiple choice? d) all of the above.

home: part deux.

breakfast in the veranda was followed by a 3 hour hike through the hills surrounding st. lazare. we saw grandma's old house and followed the same beaten path we used to climb as kids.. seemed so much more tedious then. sharing vivid memories and stories of the town and how it has changed..

the afternoon was spent in the pool.. fresh banana muffins.. hanging with the animals.. four different kids of curry for supper.. and then back to regina, which seems worlds away from the utopia my parents have created. a quick visit, but otherwise absolutely everything i needed it to be.

and.. tomorrow i'm going camping for five days.

home.

thinking: the ability to do so is incredibly liberating.. and such an extraordinary hindrance. i've been having a horrible time lately discerning how much thought is neccessary on any given subject.. over-thinking can be just as bad as not thinking at all. my morals were tested and trampled the other day at work, and i'm just feeling ultimately worn down. enough with the life lessons. i'm tired. so this morning i opened the restaurant and worked lunch, then got in the car with ave and meghan and headed east.. all i have is 24 hours but i'm overdue for some farm lovin.

i haven't been home since christmas. and before that, august - recovering from my year away. before that, it was the summer previous.. i can't believe how few and far between my visits have been. i feel like a conscious weight has been lifted.. i felt it shifting as soon as i got in the car. i really needed this..

just relaxing and enjoying a glass of mom's vino.. had a jump in the pool and a quick hot tub before a home grown dinner and visits with ken, helen and clan. got to meet the precious new addition, fynn. what a doll. dessert, even.. and coffee, followed by a wild quad ride with laura. didn't last long because once we got out on the gravel road the mosquitoes were so thick we needed goggles..

tomorrow holds endless possibilities. a good dose of the prairies.. refreshment is imminent.

spirit airlines.

so this morning i was checking my hotmail account, and the subject of a "spirit airline" email caught my eye.. it read: check out the oil on our beaches, plus $50 off*.. opening to pictures of bikini clad women with tanning oil lying on the beaches of ft. lauderdale and cancun, and wherever else they're trying to get you to fly to..

i realise that advertising is a cut-throat industry, and it is clearly their objective to get you to open their emails, but at what cost? they're playing off a disaster that is not only extremely depressing, it is a product of our own consumerism and greed, and it is a problem that is right at this very moment still pumping out gallons of oil into our oceans and helping to destroy an ecosystem that we very much depend on; and somehow that is what's selling vacations to beaches that, if we continue to have our way with, will cease to exist as a place you would ever want to visit.

completely inappropriate.

food for thought.

for those of you not willing to take the full plunge; here's something to consider:

http://www.ted.com/talks/graham_hill_weekday_vegetarian.html

(bi)cycle.

life has been up and down and around a few times since my last post. it's impossible to keep up with daily happenings and the thoughts that automatically fill my head; nevermind having to reiterate those facts and situations into an unchaotic, sensical blog post. i suppose that if life was easy to write about it certainly wouldn't be interesting, or at least not in my opinion. so in that sense i'm doing alright for myself, i guess.

life. such a funny thing that i will never ever understand no matter how much i contemplate it. sometimes i feel i have it all worked out, and then i realise that i in fact had everything backwards. and then.. rinse and repeat.. those same two realizations roll over and over again until nothing makes sense anymore and i go through life without thinking about it for a time. i'm just recently through a cycle, where i will now most likely numb myself to the philosophy of why we are here and what we're supposed to do, and just enjoy the warm weather.. have fun and make memories. i know that's not wrong, that's probably actually exactly right, but, although i don't feel shame now, i probably will soon.. [see top of paragraph..]

so i'm back to the grind in the queen city after 8 days of pure bliss on the west coast. amazing hangouts and good vibes all over vancouver. the amount of sushi digested would probably make some of you uncomfortable.. lots of walking around.. pitchers on patios.. live music.. reconnecting with some cool cats i met through the amazing danelle ross last summer.. the mountains and ocean.. at this point in time, i'd have to say, it just doesn't get any better than that.

regina's just not doing it for me these days. after countless talks with friends, i feel that my time here is nearing curtain call. i have somehow absolutely lucked out on snagging the best two jobs in town; working for the best people i know. i never want it to end. but the road to adventure is calling.. and i don't know if my brittle body will survive another prairie winter.

la vie en francais.

it's just better. i'm not so sure i can even explain why. there is something so beautiful and enchanting about every language that isn't english. maybe because my mind is blown every time i think of the vast network of sounds and tones that people find meaning in, sounds and tones that are pure gibberish to my uneducated ears. i am passionate about language. words. i need to learn french. and i need to be immersed in it to learn it. so, i need to move to montreal. i took logic my first year of university. this is what i have deduced from the facts.

it was so great to see some faces that i hadn't seen in a while. and equally so to see some new ones. the universe lined up and we killed it for five days. montreal was on the ball. my brain hurts. i have hardly slept. i spent 5 hours in the toronto airport because the plane i was supposed to get on got it's front engine completely dented in from a flight of birds. but would i change a thing? ... nah. life would suck if it were perfect.

a rundown of highlights besides the obvious reacquaintances..

bowling.. then walking passed crazy bowler lady a few days later.. climbing the mountain.. poutine.. bagels.. croissants.. ally's peanut sauce.. food in general.. foufs.. art student's ragers.. random encounters with channing and halil.. nic's girlfriend.. outbreak's bus ride home and all the ridiculous conversations that ensued.. primetime (i would totally wear a pin)..

all-in-all my trip was a success. j'aime montreal.

quebecois.

moi - le petit chou - allez a montreal demain.. je suis malade aujourd'hui, mais tres content! among culture and history i will be reunited with several amazing friends for five days of uninhibited wonderment. yes. so, this bug will just have to kick it by morning. there is no alternative.

c'est la vie.. et la vie est bon!

exuma's.

yesterday we got out to saddleback cay on steven's "island world" adventure. getting on the boat and shooting off into the ocean we were leary of dark clouds daunting the distance.. the water quickly turned from the most beautiful vibrant blue to a dark mercury.. fortunately it was not too long afterwards we had passed under the clouds.. the sky opened, and we were cutting over sparkly water with an almost radioactive electric blue patch across the horizon.

on arrival, we followed wooden bridged pathways to several lookout points.. the bar.. eating areas.. and finally, the beach. the water was like glass. i was swimming along when i noticed a black shadow gliding towards me.. it was getting close and i was getting nervous, when i realised this shadow was a gigantic manta ray.. curious, i guess. it glided away as quickly as it had come.

we got to feed sharks. finally, i got to see the epic "fin out of water".. amazing watching them move. one had to be almost nine feet long.. we did some snorkelling.. (far from the feeding grounds..) we went to jurassic park.. or so it will be in twenty years time when our pollution will eventually turn the 400+ iguanas that live there into mutant dinosaurs.. we walked along a sand bar in the middle of the ocean that had tides lapping up at our ankles from both sides..

all in all, our full day on the water was magic. couldn't have completed our bahamian excursion any other way. in a few hours time, ang and i are heading to the airport. until next time..

3308.

"If civilization and complexity are synonymous, this qualification is, naturally hopelessly incorrect, but it does seem as though this group of islands of all sizes from mere lumps of rock to hundred-mile-long reefs, overgrown with vegetation, have always been looked upon my man as a means of escape to a simple way of life. The step from canoes to ships and from ships to planes has been a giant stride over the centuries, but the magic remains, from whichever level in space the islands are viewed. There is no greater thrill than that of flying over these waters, so clear that one can often see everything on the sea-floor, and so radiant with colour that the variety of shades is almost unbelievable. They range from deepest purple, through every blue imaginable to jade and aquamarine, ending up with the palest yellows, where the sand bars touch the surface in long ripples forming fantastic patterns like watered silk. Tiny dark dots are coral heads, growing through the long, slow years into yet more islands, and any land mass is a potential adventure, a challenge to the most satiated imagination."

"There are no ruins or historical sites to be visited, life is a leisurely affair, and time means nothing. But once the feel of the island has taken hold of visitors they become captivated sooner or later, and leave with the intention of returning to feast their eyes once more on the colours that remain in the memory long after the island has been forsaken for the business of ordinary life."

A few great quotes from Eleuthera, the island called freedom by Everild Young.

my last few days in the bahamas were marvelously relaxing. spent all day friday down on bette's dock with bette, maurice, julie, miranda, and geoffery.. stretching out in the salty waves and snorkelling along the cliffside. said goodbye to new friends, promising to return sooner than later.. and then saturday morning after the boat taxi to eleuthra, i flew to nassau where i awaited my flight to calgary. meeting up with two of my very best friends from back home, we drank wine and reminisced.. and before i knew it.. i had woken up when my flight was supposed to be landing in the regina airport - where my entire family was awaiting me.. my alarm, which had been entirely reliable the entire trip, did not go off. in a panic i said goodbye, hailed a cab, and got myself on the next flight.. four hours later i was in my mama's arms and everything was right in the world.

and here i am, in the 3308.

whether/weather.

so here we are, tuesday. in a few hours we are potentially going to head back to nassau and be met by donnie.. then out and enjoying beautiful weather with steven tomorrow on his boat to the exuma's.. OR, we will stay here at bette's for one more night, and then back to nassau tomorrow on the bohengy for ang and i to catch our flight back on thursday (sob).. the variable: weather.

yesterday a storm swept across russell island.. the ocean was upset and grey.. salt water mist blowing up onto bette's deck and patches of pouring rain.. it was a beauty. i love the rain. we sat in and i got a bridge lesson. if only retirement was a valid option for me! i've found my calling.

brenda was storm-stayed an extra day, much to everyone delight. we were invited over to ed and judy's for supper last night; a couple renting a house here from s. carolina. very sweet and accomodating. today there's a strong breeze and the sun is out. and i just got word that nassau is a go! one more day of fun in the sun.. then a night in the toronto airport.. then reality hits.

full moon.

last night: subtle breeze with 100% humidity.. music blasting on the outdoor speakers. wine.. kalik.. and a family who loves to dance.

ang and i went out with the neighbors. it was this guy's birthday. his name was reggie. he was flamboyant and fabulous. we danced, we laughed, we socialized.

we said goodbye to brenda and don today; don we will see again when we head back to nassau. we had such a good time together over the weekend.. i am so happy that i got to know brenda a bit, a very powerful and beautiful woman.

today the sun is out and it's a scorcher. sunday. a day to relax and enjoy.. cheers.

spanish wells.

we were up at 6am yesterday to pack, breakfast, pick up gram, and catch the bohengy down at the dock. got invited up front with the captain and crew to see the view from their area/show lounge.. it was pimped out with leather seats and everything.. a little windy so had to watch out for the ocean spray, but could not be bothered to go inside.. spectacular view the whole way.

saw bette's little "van" coming along the shore road alongside us when we pulled into port. when the bohengy passes her house she jumps into her vehicle and gets down there with time to spare. tiny little place where time just seems to stop. lots of little golf carts cruising around.. clear skies and calm water. funny how easy it is to really settle in to a place.. bette might have a hard time getting rid of us, i am feeling quite at home!

spent the morning and early afternoon snorkelling around bette's dock.. some neat sea urchins, starfish.. lunched on the patio then over to the beach for a stroll.. then back to the dock.. we're all on bahamian time now! [very strict, as you can imagine]. this morning, grits and fruit.. snorkelling at the dock.. lunch.. walk on the beach.. swimming at the dock.. shower.. now getting the outdoor bar prepped and awaiting dinner guests.

i miss saskatchewan..

nassau.

so three days ago i was sitting in my room.. sick and tired of the weather and itching to get out and see something new.. then it hit me; my marvelous parents and younger sister were leaving for the bahamas on saturday.. ang and i's plans for getting down there at a later date were becoming more and more uncertain and before i knew it i had talked to my employers and our flights were booked.

left regina saturday morning after a night of snow fall, with a good chance of more to come.. landed in toronto and was met by julie and phil who graciously took us out on the relatively snow-free town. found an amazing hole-in-the-wall indian restaurant and ate our hearts out.. did some window shopping on queens st.. caught a movie.. and back to the airport we went. from 1am to 8am we tossed and turned on the strategically uncomfortably placed airport benches.. and by noon we had reached paradise.

brilliant sunshine, white sand, and turqouise waves crashing along the coast.. mom and cousin don met us at the airport with clyde in the front seat.. dusted off my shades, and off we went. picked up some over-priced groceries and 'kalik', then dropped the bags off and did some adventuring along the water. mom, frank, and em zipped out with mary and brad on their boat while we got a salad ready to take over to aunt lori's for supper. will be leaving here shortly to meet up with grandma et al over there..

"If my siblings and I hadn't all grown up under the same roof, chances are our paths would never have crossed as adults. And our lives would have been infinitely poorer. Because we are a family, we have worked hard to stay connected even when our relationships have become strained as a result of our wildly different perspectives and life choices. Accepting and celebrating our differences has given us all an opportunity to widen our horizons, to become more tolerant and empathetic of others, and to experience the unconditional love of family"..

tonight i went to the globe theatre to watch my dear friend judy wensel perform in a dark comedic drama, marion bridge; i found this exerpt in the program from the artistic director of the globe adding her personal thoughts to some of the play's themes. i quite agreed with what she had to say.

and judy rocked a very unjudy-like roll. i loved it.

thinking in years.

i'm happy. not a whole lot gets me down these days. except maybe the weather. i enjoyed some crucial hangs over the holidays.. relaxed in an unrestful sort of way. i've somehow snagged the coolest friends in this city, and i love both my jobs. yet, i can't shake this feeling of urgency: i need out. things are getting too comfortable. i need to move.. see new places.. experience new things.. when i'm sitting on my laptop i find myself surfing different airlines, scoping for deals.

one of these days..

just finished my first graphic novel.. alice in sunderland.. and now feel the need to go to sunderland. or just england, or whatever. a friend and i were discussing that it did seem too coincidental that one wouldn't even need a work visa to go over there for some time.. i also coincidentally have a wonderful cousin just south in scotland.. and several friends in germany.. korea.. newzealand.. there is also the family in the bahamas.. my host family in haddonfield.. philadelphia.. montreal.. vancouver..

i'm trying to convince my boss to open up a store in new york. she'd have both a devoted employee as well as night security - i'd be sleeping there, as rent in the apple is expensive. i wouldn't charge for security, she'd be getting a stellar deal. so far she hasn't taken the bait.

my situation spawned when i started thinking of my life in years. here we are, 2010. i've been gearing up to start school again soon. still have a long ways to go.. then i keep wondering if i will be here for that whole time.. then we're talking years.. and i'm out. i can't do years right now. months is all i can promise. i don't know why i am this way. but i just know that i need adventure and change. i remember why i always missed home while away; now i'm missing nomadic life. and i don't want to get comfortable until my body wont let me be otherwise.