an extensive amount of time has passed since my last real post. no excuses besides the rat race that is life. my time has been filled with friends.. school work, (maintaining a modest A+).. work, and work friends enjoying unrelated activities.. multiple shows.. walking.. laughing.. crying.. the transition from summer into fall.. into wintery downpours that are pleasantly broken up with random, lovely, dry, moderately temperatured afternoons. i celebrated my birthday last week.. i've now passed the quarter century mark. there is no turning back, adulthood is upon me and i am immersed in the syrup that sticks reckless youth and mature reasoning into a pot of moral dilemma. what to do what to do..
these past couple weeks have spun into some new webs planning for spring.. mostly involving school registration and frustration. it can be quite the drag when all you want to do is selflessly/selfishly learn, with the intention of attempting to help better an unbiased sample of the population.. it's quite the drag because the system we have has essentially set up flaming hoops that are moreso for easily engulfing cash bills rather than preparation, and are ultimately discouraging when you are me. i often think about whether things in life "happen for a reason". and how to distinguish between active and passive decision-making, or if that distinction even exists. i am actively thinking about my future. i'm actively working towards self betterment. i'm actively considering my personal goals and the things that make me happy. that are fulfilling. that i can do for an extended period of time without the gnawing emptiness that ensues, that has followed me everywhere to some extent. i'm wondering if this discouraging system is telling me that it's time to change gears. look elsewhere. try something new. come at it from a different angle. and i am left wondering whether these obstacles are leading me to passively forfeit.
i'm registered in a chemistry course for the january semester which will continue my neverending attempt at a nursing school application form.. i am also seeking information for wood working and carpentry courses. is that straight out of left field you ask? a physically challenging creative outlet with countless possibilities, flexible hours, and no borders.. only time will tell.
these past couple weeks have spun into some new webs planning for spring.. mostly involving school registration and frustration. it can be quite the drag when all you want to do is selflessly/selfishly learn, with the intention of attempting to help better an unbiased sample of the population.. it's quite the drag because the system we have has essentially set up flaming hoops that are moreso for easily engulfing cash bills rather than preparation, and are ultimately discouraging when you are me. i often think about whether things in life "happen for a reason". and how to distinguish between active and passive decision-making, or if that distinction even exists. i am actively thinking about my future. i'm actively working towards self betterment. i'm actively considering my personal goals and the things that make me happy. that are fulfilling. that i can do for an extended period of time without the gnawing emptiness that ensues, that has followed me everywhere to some extent. i'm wondering if this discouraging system is telling me that it's time to change gears. look elsewhere. try something new. come at it from a different angle. and i am left wondering whether these obstacles are leading me to passively forfeit.
i'm registered in a chemistry course for the january semester which will continue my neverending attempt at a nursing school application form.. i am also seeking information for wood working and carpentry courses. is that straight out of left field you ask? a physically challenging creative outlet with countless possibilities, flexible hours, and no borders.. only time will tell.
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