2013/[a]pathetic.

turns out that by living in the same city for extended periods of time, i am consequently squashing any drive i have to document my experiences [or something].. this will be my one and only posting in 2013. there is no positive correlation to my having nothing to report for the year, nor my doing nothing, [of which both may also be true].. i've just completely misplaced this page. and more appropriately, misplaced almost everything computer related. besides my weekly facebook excursions [to keep up appearances..], my computer is used most frequently for listening to music, and even my iTunes is completely outdated. as if the internet hasn't essentially dropped every tool i need almost literally into my lap [or wherever i feel the need to set my laptop] - i could both own and/or illegally possess pretty much any album of all time in a matter of minutes. and yet, i don't. good lord the more i type this the more i wonder if i can even blame this inertia on my staganance, or if my life has truly become so lethargic..

this year i turned 27. my rock star status depends solely on how these next 10 months play out. so far i'm still alive.. [please review last sentence of first paragraph]. no - this is not all true. well, it is. however my average feelings towards most things are usually not quite this nihilistic. as 2013 quickly comes to a close, i, as well as pretty much everyone else that follows the calendar year, find myself reflecting. memory is a funny thing, and mine is knowingly quite skewed. therefore it's especially interesting to look back and understand how events warp and change as our present experiences happen, ultimately shaping our present perspectives, and then consequently how we view our past. and so, i reflect.

in the early spring i found myself reawakening after a long, lonely, miserable winter. the short days had weighed heavily on my heart and it was refreshing to branch out in vancouver.. something i felt i hadn't done since making this place my home a year and a half prior. it was a random, inconsequential, worry-free time. i awoke one morning and on a whim bought myself a ticket to coachella. a short while later i was registered in a carpentry program come fall. the days proceeded to grow, as did my appetite for wonder and adventure. warm summer days were filled with friends.. camping trips, skinny dips, bike rides, beaches, and working only as much as necessary.. it was a fine balance between making rent, affording the lifestyle, and maintaining cordial relations in the workplace while being there as little as possible.. a kegger in july concluded a monumental year at babe manor, and on august 1st i started fresh in my [still nameless] bachelorette. a handful of days later, and i was on a plane prairie-bound. i spent a whirl-wind of a month with family and friends, staying in one place for no more than a few days at a time. it was a huge growing curve both emotionally and intellectually, and i was able to have many conversations and interactions that i will forever carry with me. although the flatlands will always be home and hold a huge piece of my heart, i was anxious to get back west when september hit. a couple weeks to regroup, officially move in, remember how to work, catch up with friends, and i was into full time studies. for the first time in years my weekdays became busy, and my weekends became relevant. being the sole female in my class, it has been an interesting challenge working in a chauvinistic, male dominated trade. my impressions and feelings about it are vast and change daily. i recently completed my year 1 final, and am currently mid-way through winter break. one more week, and i'm back to hitting the books/blocks. 

last weekend was the winter solstice, marking the shortest day of the year. although obscenely mild in temperatures, this winter has presented it's new share of obstacles in temperaments.. i am doing my utmost to meet them head-on and sort through the bullshit. time is a strange thing, and 2013 came and went with a blink. i am ringing in the new year at work.. surrounded by people and alone [how relevant]. 2014 - i have big hopes for you, it clearly wont be hard to let me down.. cheers to rediscovering an outlet for my words, my gracious and loving family, and apathy [my new (old) friend].